They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
