yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
