The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
