the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
