I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
