Say something about gay babies.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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