It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this just has baby written all over it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
