haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize