It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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