Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
