I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
