Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
