Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just want nice things and good sex
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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