4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Barsexuality is the new black.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
