You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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