Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
