The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
ok first of all what the fuck
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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