Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
