That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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