Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
