He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
