im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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