is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
