it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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