The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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