It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
