you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
