The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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