The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
