Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
