saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
