i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
