Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
