he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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