Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
