The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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