a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
