Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
