Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
