I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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