I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
