this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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