So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize