I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize