am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
