Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
