Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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