The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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