well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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