Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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