Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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