I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
