She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
