I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
