CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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