so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
