some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, beer. Big fan.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
