the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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