my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
