I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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