mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize