I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
