and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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