Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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