The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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