It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
