remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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