got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
