i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
