I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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