so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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