piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize